Which Fucking Brendan Are You

You can mostly blame @twoscooters for this one

You see a pretty girl at the farmer's market. What do you do?

Ask her if she wants to be friends!! Eat a nectarine suggestively. Chew on her leg suggestively. Take off my shirt. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS

How do you spend a typical Friday night?

ONE MAN DANCEE PARTYYYy Tweetin' in my basement, wonderin' what your status meant Chomp chomp chomp chomp Rubbing oil on my pecs. Writing Princess Celestia! SOMEDAY SHE WILL WRITE ME BACK!

If you could be best friends with anyone, who would you choose?

"Best friends" are people who let you do them in the butt, right? Hence BEST? The Fruit Of The Loom bros. My abs. EVERYPONY! All of you are disgusting. All of you.

What was the last book you read?

A Clockwork Orange. It was not about an orange. Asshole. Decoded, by Jay-Z! He makes the thug life feel so free! Siri how do you spell Ulyssis Youlessese goddamit siri I'm A Shark! It's an excellent treatise by the inestimable Bob Shea. Rar. Books are so last century, I mean, with the digital revolution, what does page count matter? What even is a page OKAY TWITTER CHRIST THE ANSWER IS TWITTER

Which virtue is the most important to you?

Butts. Regenerating teeth! I can't decide! Maybe that's why I don't have a cutie mark yet! Swimsuit season. I... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I probably deserve this.